My Affair....My Best Friend...

I cannot imagine having a best friend any other then my husband. He is such a responsible and 

caring man. Even there is “secret” between us but both of us tried to settle the “secret” it in every discussions we had including work matters, problems, or any satisfaction between us. We are always be there for each other. I want to tell you guys more, but I feel like I want to keep my marriage bits a secret because it might seem unrealistic to some. But in all honesty, my husband is constantly in my prayers as I cannot find any other way to repay the love he has shown me. So I ask Allah swt to reward him as only Allah can give him the best.

In my marriage, although I am a wife who accompanies her husband, cooks, clean, takes care the children and the house when he is not around etc, I find it not natural for me to humble myself before my husband. Seriously. I don't do it because of Mr A.A.A, but because God asks me to be humble and to take pride and honour in serving others, starting with those who are closest around me. All praises to God, I know that characters can change. I know that us humans are creatures of habit. Characters are a compilation of the little daily habits that we do. So if I want to change from being a person that is arrogant, I must start to purify my intentions to please God, and start to look for new habits to serve people who I love for the sake of God.

So guess what, after realizing this, I decided firstly, to take up a small habit which is, every time Mr. A.A.A comes home, I can serve him a glass of tea, or water. I believe in starting with something that is simple and consistent. Secondly, now I take time to perfect my preparation of food. Sometimes when Mr. A.A.A comes home from work, I get annoyed if I am alone in the kitchen cooking and to look after our children. I always feel like I want him to help out so I don't feel like I am his maid. Now, I take time to make a silent prayer in my heart while I am busy doing the housewife jobs. For example, "Oh my Lord, please make my food good, please make this food a nourishment for us to eat so we can become better servants to You, God." And then I try my best to make the food taste good and have healthy ingredients. And I really enjoy doing it on my own. I love that I get to take pride in serving my husband as a way to get me closer to God. It's such a nice feeling, Glory be to God. I've never ever had this feeling before. I have a long way to go since I battle with ego all the time, but I feel that God is slowly guiding me. Please make dua (prayers) for me to become a better servant of God since I'm going to need all the help that I can get :-)!

May Allah swt protect our relationship and let each others happy place in this world and the hereafter and may He let our eternal reunion be in Jannatul Firdaus (highest level of Paradise). :)

Apologize...Forgiveness....

A GIFT....

About elevan years ago, mashaAllah a beautiful and close to picture perfect wedding was held in the Mr M.M and Mrs A.A.B family. It was mine. Duas that Allah would bless the marriage came from left right and centre from all that came and wished us well. My family and all the  family members and family close friends went all out to help. I probably didn't thank them enough, so may Allah reward them tremendously for making that day what it was. Love you guys so much! :)

A lot of things happen for the past Eleven years an teaches me to be more matured in my life. 

The Past:

There is nothing that we can do about the past. Sometimes, even trying to understand the past is painful and hurtful. It is complicated to solve problems of things that we cannot change and when the ship has sailed. Forgive and move on. This is my jihad now. To forgive and move on.

The Future:

It is good to plan, prepare and hope for the best, but... do not expect that it will go as planned. Because, Allah swt always has a better plan! I've always been amazed how Allah swt can bring everything together in a much much much more better way. My plans are just a way for me to stay focus on something, but how they come together, that is always the best surprise of it all.

The Present:

It is called the 'present' for a reason. This 'present'/ gift is what we have. There is nothing more important then now. Now, I can decide to be better. Now, I can decide to make a lot of istighfars (seek forgiveness). Now I can decide to forgive and let it go. Now I can decide to not fight anymore. Now I can decide to pray better. Now I still have a chance to make the best of what is to come. It all comes from this gift, now. So I'm gonna shift the focus from past and future and be as PRESENT as I can to NOW. 

As we all know what SHAITAN gets up to the minute a couple says their I dos or in our country, says tunaaaaiiiiiiiii (I still don't get why they have to say it all weird). Shaitan starts plotting ways to break them up till the end of our life. He's ridiculously annoying isn't he? But if I could send him a whatsapp. I would definitely say, no buddy, you really didn't win this one because in your eyes you like to break a marriage or relationship, but the after math of it is even better, priceless in fact. Now this is where by happy ever after begins because I through everything and I gained a a lot of experience. 

So all I can say from this test that Allah gave me is, alhamdulillah because it brought me so much closer to my Mr A.A.A (strengthen my relationship with our Baby A inside my Bump) and my family. I guess He really does put you through some roller coasters in life, but His promise is true, in that with every hardship comes ease. Sometimes we don't see any good in the so called bad things that happen in our life. But we've got to try our best to snap ourselves out of it, and remind each other that Allah would never for a second give you something if it wasn't good for you.

Being Grateful...

It’s so easy to talk about, but harder to walk the walk isn’t it? “Be grateful… Be grateful” I mutter to myself as I struggle to keep my eyes open at 6.30 am. My husband and I have had to share the multiple days of experience on the unexpected childcare....

It is a dream come true for every marriage couple for having a children. Bundle of joy. Maybe your children were planned, maybe they were not. But chances are, even as hard as child-rearing gets, there is magic in every day that you can reach out and touch – the tousled hair in the morning, your toddler smiling and saying,  “Mama!” "Papa!" in the morning, the cuddles at the end of the day, the hilarious things these children say and do. The chubby cheeks, the toothless grins, the feel of a tiny hand in yours… You have small people who depend on you and need you. It reminds me of a quote which goes along the lines of “There is nothing better than being needed” or something like that. 

As for my children? I certainly could be more grateful. I adore them to bits, and I have those moments – you know those? – when they wrap their arms around you and your heart does that smooshy melty thing. They’re simply gorgeous and they make me so proud. But the small stuff, there’s so much of that. And I forget to be grateful. I forget to be thankful that I have one beautiful and two gorgeous healthy children, that I completed my family the way I wanted it to be, that I am needed in this way, that I have the opportunity to teach three very special unique individuals the secrets of a happy and healthy life, that I have them to inspire me to find the answers.

Being a working mother, now that certainly isn’t a walk in the park. But it’s actually filled with blessings.  I’m going to be grateful, every single day. I’m not going to feel guilty if I can’t feel completely grateful for every single moment – this isn’t about that. But each day, I’m going to look for my blessings and embrace them. 

Life of Being Common....

I love being common.

I love enjoying not only the grand designs in the universe, but also the small and finer details in life, like having a father, mother, sisters and In Law Family. 

I love having a husband that I could curl-up and hug while watching the movies. I love romantic gestures whether it was embarrassing, or whether it was in secret between just the two of us and God. 

I love having a my kids around to cheer up my life. 

I've always thought that I was special, but now I am so glad to embrace commonality. I am so glad it is God that is One, that is Special and Irresistible. 

I cannot explain the joy and contentment that I feel. It is just beyond words. I am just so pleased with His gifts... and I only wish, by His Mercy, He would forgive me of my sins and admit me among those that He is pleased. 

  

We all have our own set of struggles, but to take it head on and brave yourself to give it up for the sake of Allah is a whole different story. That's the start of a really beautiful story I think......that will, by Allah's Mercy, end with us living in our beautiful house in Jannah tul Firdaus together.

May Allah swt protect our little family  inshaAllah, and let us be together in happy place in this world and the hereafter. :)

Happenings....

Hoping everyone is in the best of health and iman. I woke up this morning feeling super duper  refreshed! Alhamdulillah I can't describe what an amazing weekend I had being blessed by Allah. Who's excited for every coming month to come? I am!! For so many reasons; Insha Allah another Baby in our arms and in the family....I can't possibly say enough alhamdulillah's for all the blessings Allah has given me and still is! :)

Child labour is so beautiful!! May Allah swt grant me and all mums about to give birth an easy delivery, a healthy new born child and forgiveness from the All Merciful for every little pain they feel. 

I'm looking out my window now and the weather is looking really good this morning. Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah for the bottomless blessings that the All Merciful has given us. ;)

And lastly, but most importantly before I head out, I want to sincerely thank all of you guys who have been so kind with your words, shown me support and made such beautiful duas for me. A dua is seriously the best gift I could ever ask for from anyone. I ask Allah swt to pretty please reward and grant you guys with even more! 

Beginning of Blessings...

I think it's quite obvious how absent I've been from the blog. Year of 2013 was as an expected, an extra crazy year for me with the happiness and sadness in the life and I have to admit I was struggling really bad in juggling the little time I had left when work  and everything was settled down and work was done. Obviously, I failed to put aside time to share the many of things I've learn, my thoughts and a gazillion folders of unedited pictures here. But that's okay, because Allah has given you and I another year to get a lot of things done, with His permission and help of course. 

I'm looking out my window now and the weather is looking really good this evening, yay! So have an awesome day with my family insha Allah. Don't forget to say alhamdulillah for the bottomless blessings that the All Merciful has given us. ;)

And lastly, but most importantly before I head out, I want to sincerely thank all of you guys who have been so kind with your words, shown me support and made such beautiful duas for me. A dua is seriously the best gift I could ever ask for from anyone. I ask Allah swt to pretty please reward and grant you guys with even more!

 

A Mistaken....

I recently had a fallout with a friend. Here are the things that I felt:

1. I am angry;
2. I am frustrated; 
3. I am tired; 
4. I am such a loser for not being able to keep friendships;
5. I am scared that I will get in trouble with Allah for not being fair; and
6. I am lost as to what Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) would do if he (pbuh) was in my position. 

 

In order that you may not be sad over matters that you fail to get, nor rejoice because of that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters. (al-Hadid chapter 57:22)

Oh man!! What are the chances that this fallout is about money?! So after much desperation and whining, I decided it's time to pack up those tears and complaints and say,  "Alhamdulillah hi ala bi kulli hal (all praises and thanks be to Allah in whatever circumstances)." Oh gosh at last I got it! Bahahahhaa....
I cannot control friendships, I cannot control my friend. And I am sure she can pinpoint what I am at fault with (which I am sure there are plenty). But I can be proactive by:

1. Asking for forgiveness from Allah;
2. Apologise to her for hurting her feelings; 
3. Just give her what she asks for. It's better to have less in this world than less in the Hereafter;
4. Keep on listening to Qur'an to help ease the anger that is boiling in me; and
5. Hope that God will accept my deeds. 

At the end of the day, I've learn from experience that no matter whether you are a muslim, or a non-Muslim, or a practising Muslim, or not a practising Muslim, you cannot claim God for yourself.
God is on the side of Justice, and if I am looking to get into God's good books, then be just and compassionate with people in hopes that God will take pity on my soul and forgive me for all my shortcomings.

I am far from perfect. I've had so many failed relationships with people because of my own shortcomings, so many faults that if you knew about it, you will stay far far away from me. It's amazing that God is so near to us, that He sees and knows all of our misdeeds and shortcomings, yet choose to give us a gazillion chances, again and again... God is Perfect.

In Love....Love

I'm bad in English, but I can tell you that I Love You..

I'm bad in Geography, but I can tell you that you live in my heart..

I'm bad in Chemistry, but I can tell what's the reaction when you smile..

I'm bad in Physics, but I can tell the intensity of spark of my eyes when they see you..

I'm bad in History, but I can remember when I first saw you..

Someone close to me taught me something really simple about showing love to others. Whether it's to your parents, close friend or spouse. Everyone feels loved in different ways, so the key is to make sure you show someone you love them, the way they want to be loved. 

Listen With Your Heart.....

See with your heart, listen with your heart. Observe the world that we live in with our heart, and we will understand how Majestic God is....

Always, always purify your heart and soul so that when you are lost and you don't know what to do, you are open for the guidance that God is giving you.

Every time we defy or go against God's commands (when we know), a black dot will appear in our heart. And if we keep on putting black dots, there will be a point where our heart is so black that we cannot see and listen anymore to all the guidance and signs of God because our heart is DEAD.

And when we choose to follow God's command to do good, a white dot will appear, and if we keep on following God's command, our heart will be so clean that we will be sensitive to God's guidance and signs. This is when our heart becomes the best compass for whatever situation that we are in.

Therefore, follow God's command so you can listen with your heart, you will then understand...

Voices....

I was having my own little conversation in my head about something that's been on my mind. And after a few minutes I started to develop some really negative thoughts towards it that I had to stop myself, and ask where is all of this coming from. That's when I realised, there is no such thing as personal space when it comes to us and shaitan. All the amplified negativity was coming from none other than the famous shaitan. He's kind of like an annoying friend you don't want, but you're stuck with. Always there to feed our negative thoughts and mess around with our weaknesses.

Basically Iblis is saying he's not going to let us out of his sight even for a second. And don't think he doesn't know our weaknesses. In fact he probably knows them better than you and I know ourselves, which makes it so easy for them to distract us. But truth is, the worse and hardest part to admit is that it's because of my own weak faith that he can get to me so often. And I have to realise that he's so good and sneaky at using that to his advantage to slowly convince me to do things on a daily basis that will slowly bring me further away from Allah. 

But I can't keep playing the blaming game when I fall for shaitan's tricks, because at the end of the day, Allah has allowed it, and for a good reason I'm sure. I do think it helps a little though, if we make it a point to constantly remind ourselves that all of us have our personal shaitan waiting on our every move. And he waits ever so patiently because he wants to prove to Allah that we don't really love or care about Him, and that we're just ungrateful. I wish my faith was high up there so shaitan can't get that satisfaction of playing me like a puppet sometimes. 

Best Thing....

I was reminded the beauty of going back to basics; seeking forgiveness from God. Allah asks us to seek his forgiveness over and over and over again. And there's a beautiful reason behind it. 

Istighfar (seeking forgiveness) is something we should be doing like all the time. But me on the other hand, forgetful as always. I'll say my 'Astaghfirullahiladzim' a few times after solat and think I'm good to do for the day.

So back to what I was saying, the amazing thing about seeking forgiveness is that there's more to it then just that. Firstly, Allah actually loves to forgive since he is Al-Ghaffar, so it's on us to not sit on our bum bum and be slack about it. And secondly, Allah grants us more than just His forgiveness (as if that isn't enough already). This is where we see just how generous He is. When we make istighfar (seek forgiveness), we usually think it's just about getting forgiveness, but little did we know, receiving Allah's forgiveness comes along with so much much more. With no expectations, Allah gladly gives us more.

Allah says He will increase us in many worldly things such as granting us with more money, children and the best part, gardens and rivers in Jannah in the after life. Imagine if you did something sneaky behind your husband, wife or friends back, and then on Hari Raya day you ask her or his to forgive you. Okay, if he or she loves you he or she will forgive you, but he's or she's not going to forgive you and hand over a big packet of duit raya right? The best deal you'll get is his or her forgiving you. But with Allah, He gives us more.  Allah tells us that our life on this earth will become more beautiful and at ease if only you continuously ask for His forgiveness.

I needed this simple reminder so bad because sometimes making istighfar becomes a habitual thing that you forget its true meaning when you utter it or you don't do it enough, and with that you lose your opportunity at getting the sweet deal of gaining Allah's forgiveness and gifts in this life! I hope you guys aren't as forgetful as I am because the reward in turning back to Allah and seeking his forgiveness is just too good to pass.

How To Deal with Women If you are Man Enough...

A strong relationship starts with two Brave people who are ready to Sacrifice anything for One Another....

When she hits you or pushing you …....... (hold her hands)
When she get angry................................... ( just hug her )
When she be silent.................................... (ask her what is problem)
When she Ignore you................................. (Give her attention)
When she asked you about something... (don’t neglected her)
When she want to get away from you...... ( do not agree with her opinion)
When you see her in the worst situations (Tell her you are beautiful)
When you see her Cry................................( kiss her head and tell her i love you a lot)
When you feel her scared......................... (protect her )
When you see her jealous........................ (that’s mean she love you more than you imagine )
When she say to you i love you.................( that’s mean she have feelings to you more than you                                                                             think)
When she look into your eyes....................( don’t turned your eyes until she turned it first.)

They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them …

Qur’an [2 : 187]

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.

‘And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers – men and women – gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity.’ Qur’an [9 : 71 - 72]

Pray.....

I'm sure a lot of you already do solat with your husband or other family members, but if you don't, try to make it a regular thing you do because it really is nice to have that one thing to do together despite our busy schedules. Plus Allah will reward you more, so it really is awesome!

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Prayer in congregation is twenty seven times better than prayer prayed individually. (Sahîh al-Bukhârî:645 and Sahîh Muslim: 650) 

Someone told me to pray with my heart, and not with my mouth. Such simple words, but trying this made my solat a world of difference.