Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Say Sorry...Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. 'I can forgive but I cannot forget', is only one way of saying, "I will not forgive." Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note, torn into two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. The weak can never forgive -- forgiveness is the attribute of the strong...

SubhanAllah it's so simple, yet so beautiful. I just sat in silence for a minute. I sat in silence because I was smacking myself inside for thinking how could I have forgotten this hadith because I knew I had read and heard it countless time.  Day in and day out I am so sure the sins I have accumulated is beyond imaginable. And here it is, our Lord, Al-Ghaffaar (The Ever Forgiving) has made it oh-so-easy for us to eliminate our sins. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “(There are) two words which are dear to the Beneficent (Allāh) and very light (easy) for the tongue (to say), but very heavy in weight in the balance. They are: 'Subhan Allāh wa-bi hamdihi' (All Glory is to Allah and all Praise to Him) and 'Subhan Allāh Al-'Azim (Glorified is Allah, the Great).” (Bukhāri)

All we have to do is remember him in our day. Remember that Allah has mad love for all of us as His mercy and forgiveness is close at hand. May Allah keep this hadith close to my heart and yours. :)

Saturday, July 27, 2013


How to begin the story....arghhhh...B awak ada Boy friend yer..What is his name?....For Sure haruslah ada...Do you want to know? His name is Ahmad Al Auzai'y..You nak kenal ke.. but sometimes I've been  ask with this type of question.......Are you married....are you single....What is your name?... this what always happen too me....the best thing is by smiling and answered Yes I'm Married with 3 children....Proud of it....

So whilst I praise and thank Allah for giving me Islam which allows me to seriously take a good look at myself and start taking achievable and attainable steps to work for a better 'real' live in the eternity .

For me i know that Love to HALAL is Lawful, and Love that is prohibited by Allah is HARAM..Lawful love is love between husband and wife and it is HALAL meanwhile the prohibited LOVE is the one that forbidden...This kind of love will bring to the cause of the collapse and disintegration to the family.For a wife to Love another woman's Husband and a Husband Loves another man's wife it has been going on and even been recorded by Allah in the Qur'an Al Karim. (surah Yusuf verses 23-35).

I realise that real terror is that I might just be stuck in Hell fire eternally. Not just any fire. Fire itself is something that I cannot bear even for a split second on this earth. What more if it's a fire specially prepared by Allah for all eternity. Oh my Gosh and before I get to the Hell fire, there is the audit of my accounts. Audit of all the deeds that I've done. Ya Allah, I am really really really scarred now... Please please please do not audit me. If you audit just one of my bad deed, I am gone! I am finished!!! I am done... I am doomed.... 

I would rather recite beautiful and truthful passages from the Qur'an that tells us about Jannah instead.  I know it's going to be hard, but if we really try Allah will make us succeed. Allah wants us to come back to Him, Allah wants to give us better . He just needs to see the effort of us letting go of something for the sake of Allah. Let's give this fantasy up and really work for the real thing.

Ya Allah, please give us the strength to pass this test of yours. I really want me and him to be reunited in Jannah. I can so picture a more beautiful version of ourselves, in our huge and luscious garden full of flowers everywhere, as we continue to live blissfully with our families into our perfect piece of forever... Ameen...

Friday, July 26, 2013


I understand we human are curious creature. Gone were the days where people follow blindly. We question as any human would do. Even in Sirah, Ibrahim a.s. also question the creation of life, who,why & so forth. Ibrahim was given answer directly by Allah s.w.t. Hidayah- the greatest gift from Allah is only for His chosen one. We are grateful we are born in Islam unlike some of our brothers & sisters that have to go through series of challenges to their believe. 

Allah never need our praises or reassurance from us. In fact, He stated clearly in Quran surah Ibrahim ayah 8:

"Kalau kamu dan sesiapa sahaja di atas muka bumi ini seluruhnya ingkar, maka hal yang demikian itu tidaklah merugikan Allah, sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Kaya lagi Maha Terpuji.” Surah Ibrahim ayat 8.

The truth;we NEEDED HIM more than anything but we as 'hamba yg lemah'-often thinks too highly of ourselves. Often. *sigh..this is more note to self* When everything we are past,present & future are in His hands. It can come & go in a blink of an eye. Thus detachment of all dependents is the highest surrender to Allah. 

In surah Al-Alaq ayat 1-13-yes the first surah that our beloved Prophet received;

1. Bacalah dengan (menyebut) nama Rabbmu Yang menciptakan, (QS. 96:1)

2. Dia telah menciptakan manusia dengan segumpal darah. (QS. 96:2)

3. Bacalah, dan Rabbmulah Yang Paling Pemurah, (QS. 96:3)

4. Yang mengajar (manusia) dengan perantaraan kalam 1590. (QS. 96:4)

5. Dia mengajarkan kepada manusia apa yang tidak diketahuinya. (QS. 96:5)

6. Ketahuilah! Sesungguhnya manusia benar-benar melampaui batas, (QS. 96:6)

7. karena dia melihat dirinya serba cukup. (QS. 96:7)

8. Sesungguhnya hanya kepada Rabbmulah kembali(mu). (QS. 96:8)

9. Bagaimana pendapatmu tentang orang yang melarang, (QS. 96:9)

10. seorang hamba ketika dia mengerjakan shalat 1591, (QS. 96:10)

11. bagaimana pendapatmu jika orang yang melarang itu berada di atas kebenaran, (QS. 96:11)

12. atau dia menyuruh bertaqwa (kepada Allah) (QS. 96:12)

13. Bagaimana pendapatmu jika orang yang melarang itu mendustakan dan berpaling? (QS. 96:13)

14. Tidakkah dia mengetahui bahwa sesungguhnya Allah melihat segala perbuatannya? (QS. 96:14)

It never occurred to me that I got that pay raise because the Ar-Razzaq (the all Provider) decided to allow that to happen. It was because of his generosity (Al-Khareem) that I got more than what I deserved and therefore had the ability to give charity in the first place. It is due to Allah's mercy and guidance that allowed for all the positive changes. Not because I became a better person. It is because He is Ar-Raheem (The Exceedingly Merciful) and Al-Hadi (The one that Guides).  

It wasn't easy to accept that literally every thing that happened in my life was because Allah made it happen. It is by understanding Allah's names and characteristics that I can see clearly just how glorious He is. Allah doesn't need me to praise and glorify him by his utmost perfect names. I am the one that needs to remind myself that He is Al-Azim (The Magnificent), He is Malik Al-Mulk (The Owner of All), He is Al-Muhyi (The Giver of Life) and that He is Al-Malik(The King/Absolute Ruler). I need to remind myself that I am His slave and just another one of His creations. 

He knew. When He created us, He knew we will question, curious & thinks highly of ourselves when we feel enough. 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Groove it....

He love to dance......Groove it my Baby...Listen to the music and follow it every single beat of the Music....He listen to Hits.Fm and Mix Fm.....

Romantic Love Last.....

Be Grateful For Your Mistakes

"Instead, somehow thank the weasel you caught cheating, and be grateful to the jerk who hurt you so badly. it's the mongrels and the cheaters who make us realise when we have found "the one". so thank them with all your (broken) heart."

Believe In Soul Mates

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else 
goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise."

You Can't Just Love The Bit You Love

"Accepting - even adoring someone's faults is the truth about how to make love work. Real love is a decision to honour, respect and be loving towards someone in spite of the fact that they, at times, drive you absolutely crazy."

Loving A Whole Person, Even The Parts That Drive You Nuts

"When your significant other does something idiotic, don't just tolerate it, love them for it. As someone very wise once said, "Sometimes the secret is just to say those three little words, 'You're probably right.' "

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The best thing to do.....

Lately, I've been really honest with myself and started to ask Allah for the things that I want in this life and the Hereafter, as opposed to just asking for the things that I want in the Hereafter.

If people are trying to bring you down,

It only means that YOU'RE ABOVE THEM.

"Sekiranya seseorang itu cemburu dengan kita,  jangan 

marahi mereka.. Berterima kasihlah  

kepadanya kerana mereka sebenarnya mengagumi dan 

menyanjungi kita.

Whilst there are so many things that I cannot handle and have handled quite badly, fixing my Solat is a good start. This is a proactive and achievable step towards self improvement. Perhaps Solat is the mother of all self help. I'm hoping that being able to fix our Solat could also mean being able to handle bigger problems about to come. Allah knows best.

So guys, let us together invest in our Solat. It's all about education, education, education. Let's learn as much as we can about Solat (understanding what we're saying and perfecting it). Let's demystify khusu' (concentration) as being something of the unknown. It's about building a connection (through knowledge) in conversing with our Creator, the only One worthy of Love, Worship and Obey. 

Men whom neither trade nor sale (business) diverts them from the Remembrance of Allah (with heart and tongue), nor from performing Solatnor from giving ZakatThey fear a Day when hearts and eyes will be overturned (out of horror of the torment of the Day of Judgement). 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013


if only i could catch the stars up in the sky,
i would put all of those stars near you..
so that you won't feel alone and gloomy,
even in your darkest days...

if only i have the power to fly wherever i want,
i would fly into your arms everyday,
so that you won't feel sad because of this distance between us,
and you would feel happy all the time..

if only a relationship were made to be fight-free,
i would sacrifice my pride to have only just that,
so that we won't have to waste our tears,
and our precious time arguing..

if only we were born to have the same minds, 
so that in everything we do, we would think alike,
and there will be no more unnecessary words came out from us,
that could jeopardize this relationship..

if only i thought deeply before i spoke, 
trying not to hurt you with my words,
i would just do that for the rest of my life,
so that you won't have any heartaches..

but when i can catch the stars and put it near you,
how are you going to miss me?

but when i can fly into your arms everyday,
how this relationship is going to be tested?

but when we have the same minds and think alike,
how can we know what is right, and what is wrong?

maybe there are a lot of reasons why all of these are or aren't happening to us,
to test our hearts, minds and souls, 
to make us realize that our love is true,
to make us put a lot of effort into our relationship,
so that we will be together..forever.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Be Patient.....

How many times do we loose our cool with people? Recently, I lost my cool with someone who was very dear to my heart. I am desperate for guidance, I am desperate for Paradise, and I am desperate for Allah swt to forgive my sins. So join me in holding our emotions and be PATIENT and KIND with people. Be SMART in dealing with them. I'm gonna need a lot of help.

Whatever happens, I trust that Allah is the one taking care of my affairs. If I've done my part i.e. put in my best effort, seeking His assistance through patience and prayer, then I should chill and let Allah handle the results. If it means that I will fail and gain losses, so be it. This outcome is possible and I should be prepared if it comes. I should prepare myself to be patient with Allah's decree because it is Him that knows best, and is most Wise and Patient. 

I hate being desperate but I think Allah knows that only desperation can humble me. Allah is so Great, He just knows everything.

"Seek assistance through patience and prayer. For sure it's difficult except for those who are humble."


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Get Angry....Feeling Down....

I was like, eh?! And it seems that everything that has happened so far are just hitting on my nerves. Firstly, I know this isn't my character and so his. There is something must be up. Secondly, this agitated and moody feeling is something that we have to manage carefully because if not, we might end up making Allah and people around us angry. Let's not let Shaitan(the Devil) get the best of us. Only on the wrong discussion and communication both of us get very angry and upside down...Ya Allah....There is no true love accept the everlasting love is for God.....

“It’s heaven,” they say

When you love someone
And they love you back
And in their show of love
They never slack

They say things like

You’re my baby, my life
I’m yours forever
If you leave, I will die

Yes all this sweet talk

Is flattering I admit
Beggars promising kingdoms
Are typically passionate

But a majestic promise

Needs a majestic maker
And the promise of heaven
Is a majestic offer

Heaven, subhanAllah

Home and wholeness
Mysterious and Unseen
Like love
Fortress of freedom
Unshackled from struggle
Secure and Free
From loss

Contentment eternal

Forever bathed in love
Heaven could be a hut
It’d be more than enough

But Allah in His Majesty

Promises much more
Luxurious abodes
Majestic décor

Walls of gold

Floors of pearls
Magnificence, par excellence
Of all the worlds

Motivation and mockery

Irresistible, so odd
This offered to me?
A servant, so flawed

There are places in heaven

He built with His Hands
This world is just sand

So don’t promise forever

Don’t belie the fact
That we’re all beggars of time
Time we owe back

Back to Allah

Yet Al-Wadud He
Considers it a loan
Lend Him what’s His
His Jannah you’ll own

This is love personified

Incapable by you or I
Undeserved yet unmatched
From this world we must detach

Mind and heart cannot resist

Despite its blackness and disease
Ya Allah, forgive me please
I am Yours, I believe

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sad and Worrried....

I find myself in the state of much worry since it's been a month and month that my emotion is not so stable...still keep searching and searching the ways...I'm worried of everything, my life, family (Husband and children), Jobs and etc..etc...everything seem confused and blur...

At times like these, all I can do is turn to Allah for some assurance. I've been telling myself that if I try to work extra hard to increase my Iman, I wouldn't be so sad or upset knowing that Allah is handling everything. After all, I've done the best that I can and the rest is left up to Allah. But I find myself in a state of restless and easily agitated.

So I tried this and it worked! How? Because I felt that by crying, I did not push away the hurt and pain that I feel emotionally.
By crying, I did not have to deny my heart that is aching, but as my lips uttered 'glory be to Allah the Most Magnificent and the Most Praiseworthy' in the prostration state, I felt that even at times of difficulty, praising Allah calms the heart that is aching badly. 

So the pearls of wisdom that I got from this experience is, not to deny my emotions, but to allow myself to feel sad. The only difference is, instead of complaining about how I feel, just cry and busy my lips with praises to none other than Allah swt. Honestly for now, this helps....

Monday, July 1, 2013

Heart is Hurt..

When you think about matters of the heart, you cannot help but to feel helpless. It easily flutters... One minute it is happy and full of sunshine, the next minute it is in so much pain. And my heart is in so much pain when the heart is clinging on to something that it can't let go...
There's a lot of things that I can't let go. As tears of frustration and anger gushed through my cheeks.
In one family, we all come in different shapes and sizes. Whilst differences should be a strength that can be most beneficial, we rarely see that because we ourselves are not comfortable or secure enough to be in our own skins.
In the struggle to find God and the purpose of my existence, I found me. I am truly at peace with accepting who I am. There is nothing that I need to do or prove to myself, or to others on who I am and what I am capable of. Being a slave, really sets me free...
I am not capable, it is He that is. I am not strong, it is He that is. I am not knowledgeable, it is He that is. And knowing that I can truly depend on Him makes my life a whole lot easier... It really is...
I am no longer looking to control things anymore. I am but a traveler, begging and seeking the bounties of my Lord, none other than Allah. Life is truly easier if we learn to manage our ego (khibir) and ignorance/heedlessness (ghafla). Knowing that I am ignorant, but Allah is the Most Wise. Knowing that I am so weak and small, and Allah is Most Strong and Mighty. This is, in my opinion a good start to being at peace with oneself.
It's time to move on. It's time to let go of It's time to grow up. I can't believe I am 33 and I just realised how immature I am. Alhamdulillah. Although the way I found out was not ideal, but at least I've identified where I went wrong. I need to apologise though... sigh...

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