A Mistaken....

I recently had a fallout with a friend. Here are the things that I felt:

1. I am angry;
2. I am frustrated; 
3. I am tired; 
4. I am such a loser for not being able to keep friendships;
5. I am scared that I will get in trouble with Allah for not being fair; and
6. I am lost as to what Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) would do if he (pbuh) was in my position. 

 

In order that you may not be sad over matters that you fail to get, nor rejoice because of that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters. (al-Hadid chapter 57:22)

Oh man!! What are the chances that this fallout is about money?! So after much desperation and whining, I decided it's time to pack up those tears and complaints and say,  "Alhamdulillah hi ala bi kulli hal (all praises and thanks be to Allah in whatever circumstances)." Oh gosh at last I got it! Bahahahhaa....
I cannot control friendships, I cannot control my friend. And I am sure she can pinpoint what I am at fault with (which I am sure there are plenty). But I can be proactive by:

1. Asking for forgiveness from Allah;
2. Apologise to her for hurting her feelings; 
3. Just give her what she asks for. It's better to have less in this world than less in the Hereafter;
4. Keep on listening to Qur'an to help ease the anger that is boiling in me; and
5. Hope that God will accept my deeds. 

At the end of the day, I've learn from experience that no matter whether you are a muslim, or a non-Muslim, or a practising Muslim, or not a practising Muslim, you cannot claim God for yourself.
God is on the side of Justice, and if I am looking to get into God's good books, then be just and compassionate with people in hopes that God will take pity on my soul and forgive me for all my shortcomings.

I am far from perfect. I've had so many failed relationships with people because of my own shortcomings, so many faults that if you knew about it, you will stay far far away from me. It's amazing that God is so near to us, that He sees and knows all of our misdeeds and shortcomings, yet choose to give us a gazillion chances, again and again... God is Perfect.

Siblings.....Sisters....

I have three sisters and I LOVE it!

Yes we have disagreements and fights when we are pms-ing, Chit Chating and bla bla bla, but I know I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. The only thing is we don't live with each other anymore beause one them got married and live at Terengganu and two more still staying with Mama & Papa. Although we are not far far away but i still miss the old times with three of my sisters...haha...My siblings lovesssss to talk. 'If you love me you'll just listen to me when I talk,' she always says. and 'If you love me I will smuch...smuch and kiss you."

 

It was truly a blessing and gift from Allah having them around because they always here to support me, listen to me when I do or say something appropriate and always keep my secret save. Seeing how each of them play such a significant role in my life, I just hope biiznillah I can work on being someone they can lean on as the eldest in the family.

 

  

For all of you who have sisters too, may Allah swt strengthen our ties with our sisters, let us be the best we can to them and make it easy for us to help each other on this path to get closer to Allah.

 

 

My 3 crazy,mean,annoying yet wonderful and awesome sisters + my one and only amazing cousin sister. 
Thank you for everything adik2 Ku and Sepupu ku...!I love you guys unconditionally and endlessly. 

 

 

 

 Sisters....

 

 

Narated by Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reminds us, "The best of you is who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family." (Al-Tirmidhi)
LOVE. :)

 

 

First Ride....

So happy to bring A'isy Eusoff on his First Ride of LRT Putra from Setiawangsa to KLCC...Hahaa, okay okay. So to show him the train, all I have to do is give him my time and follow him on and on about whatever is on his mind. A'isy Eusoff wants both of us to just run around the LRT Station & KLCC park and we chasing and jumping with him all day long. 

Thank you Allah for giving me such family (husband & Kids)... Seeing how I was totally overjoyed the day. Sigh, I love them so much...:-)

Alhamdulillah..Love....:-)

In Love....Love

I'm bad in English, but I can tell you that I Love You..

I'm bad in Geography, but I can tell you that you live in my heart..

I'm bad in Chemistry, but I can tell what's the reaction when you smile..

I'm bad in Physics, but I can tell the intensity of spark of my eyes when they see you..

I'm bad in History, but I can remember when I first saw you..

Someone close to me taught me something really simple about showing love to others. Whether it's to your parents, close friend or spouse. Everyone feels loved in different ways, so the key is to make sure you show someone you love them, the way they want to be loved. 

Back Again...

Salam everyone! Hoping you guys are all doing good and in the best of iman. :)

I'm sure it hasn't been that long, but it feels like it's been ages since I've had extra time to share anything with you guys here. Alhamdulillah for ending training for the past 2-3 weeks,  I have been having regular time with the Family. Which also means I've had no extra time to chillex and blog. But starting tomorrow, insha Allah I'm going to make it a point to better manage my time so I don't have long stretches of nothing here. There's so much I want to share with you guys. 

Anyway, I'm such a happy camper here having the luxury time with Mr Husband and the Children.! Time for bed now so I can start bright and early tomorrow insha Allah.

Good night for now! :)

Listen With Your Heart.....

See with your heart, listen with your heart. Observe the world that we live in with our heart, and we will understand how Majestic God is....

Always, always purify your heart and soul so that when you are lost and you don't know what to do, you are open for the guidance that God is giving you.

Every time we defy or go against God's commands (when we know), a black dot will appear in our heart. And if we keep on putting black dots, there will be a point where our heart is so black that we cannot see and listen anymore to all the guidance and signs of God because our heart is DEAD.

And when we choose to follow God's command to do good, a white dot will appear, and if we keep on following God's command, our heart will be so clean that we will be sensitive to God's guidance and signs. This is when our heart becomes the best compass for whatever situation that we are in.

Therefore, follow God's command so you can listen with your heart, you will then understand...

Voices....

I was having my own little conversation in my head about something that's been on my mind. And after a few minutes I started to develop some really negative thoughts towards it that I had to stop myself, and ask where is all of this coming from. That's when I realised, there is no such thing as personal space when it comes to us and shaitan. All the amplified negativity was coming from none other than the famous shaitan. He's kind of like an annoying friend you don't want, but you're stuck with. Always there to feed our negative thoughts and mess around with our weaknesses.

Basically Iblis is saying he's not going to let us out of his sight even for a second. And don't think he doesn't know our weaknesses. In fact he probably knows them better than you and I know ourselves, which makes it so easy for them to distract us. But truth is, the worse and hardest part to admit is that it's because of my own weak faith that he can get to me so often. And I have to realise that he's so good and sneaky at using that to his advantage to slowly convince me to do things on a daily basis that will slowly bring me further away from Allah. 

But I can't keep playing the blaming game when I fall for shaitan's tricks, because at the end of the day, Allah has allowed it, and for a good reason I'm sure. I do think it helps a little though, if we make it a point to constantly remind ourselves that all of us have our personal shaitan waiting on our every move. And he waits ever so patiently because he wants to prove to Allah that we don't really love or care about Him, and that we're just ungrateful. I wish my faith was high up there so shaitan can't get that satisfaction of playing me like a puppet sometimes. 

Solaris Dutamas - Publika

It was our first time visit and a last minute call to my cousin. It has the artistic concept.  Those who loves art, pretty much will love this place.  Most of the tenants decorate their shops in a cultivated and aesthetic ways. 

The place is low-density especially during weekends.  You don't see people rushing here and there to shop. At the moment I can say, its safe for the children to run here and there and we rarely heard mommies shouting for the kids. 

And we had our dinner at Ben's. Simply tasty!  I recommend you this place for your western tryout cuisine.  Furthermore it is definitely halal.

Note:  Thanks Cous's for your recommendation.

Closet and Wardrobe.....

Everybody dreams of having an amazing wardrobe filled with colour coordinated bags, clothes and shoes.



 I was on the floor sitting in front of my closet the other day attempting to pull out pieces that I thought weren't decent to be worn anymore. Now decent is very subjective so I'm not going to get into that. But basically there were a few pair of pants, dresses and skirts that I struggled to take out and move into the pile of 'wear only at home', 'wear in the office' and 'wear only with husband'. I could just leave them hanging in my closet.. arghh...arghhh....will do it again on the next quite  Sunday...

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: I'm Sorry.

Eraser: For what ?

You didn't do Anything Wrong.

Pencil: I'm Sorry, You Get Hurt because Of Me.

Whenever I Made a Mistake, You are Always there to Erase It.

But as You Make My Mistakes Vanish, You Lose a Part Of Yourself

and Get Smaller and Smaller Each Time.

Eraser: That's True, but I don't Really Mind. You See, I Was Made to do this,

I was Made to Help You

Whenever You do Something Wrong,

Even though One day I know I'll be gone.

I'm actually Happy with My Job.

So Please, Stop Worrying I hate Seeing You Sad.

Our Parents are Like the Eraser,

Where as We Children are The Pencil.

They're Always there for their Children

Cleaning Up their Mistakes.

Sometimes along the Way

they Get Hurt and become Smaller

(Older and Eventually Pass On) 

♥♥ ''Take Care Of Your Parents, Treat them with kindness And Most Especially Love them." ♥♥

Eid Mubarak...

Can you believe it's already 10th Hari Raya  already? How time flies huh. I kind of felt like Ramadan just zoomed passed us, but insha Allah it was another great one. It's always a bittersweet feeling for me when I hear the takbir because that means our special month of Ramadan has truly come to an end, and, the shaitans have come out to bug us all again, boooo them!

So I'm pretty sure I ate enough to cover the amount of food to cover my diertary needs for a week. How about you guys? So much for me listening to the imam during Eid prayers on watching your food intake during this time and nodding in agreement (yeahh rightttt). It's quite impossible to visit six houses and not eat at one because you don't want to hurt their feelings. Plus when there's a plate of lemang (glutinous rice) staring at me, it's quite an insult to the it if I didn't have some. And then right beside it is the table of kuihs (dessert and biscuits).

So while we have a really fun day, let's try our best to keep our Iman at a high even though we know how hard it is. So have an amazing day with our family and friends. May it be filled with Allah's baraqah, loads of salam greetings and smiles, finger licking food and a lot of love! :)

Deal of Love....

The sweet deal of Love in the relationship of Husband and Wife is the precious gift from Allah....

Minus the labour pain and 9 months of being preggers, i've had poo embellish my jeans, pee strategically sprayed on my face as a substitute to my face mist and cancelled meetings at the last minute so i wouldn't be late to pick them up from school.So all I can say from this is a Gift "Anugerah"   that Allah gave me is, alhamdulillah because it brought me so much closer to my husband. 

And tabarakaAllah my husband really made things easy for me, calmness, love and understanding that if Allah has willed it, then this is what is best. Sometimes we don't see any good in the so called bad things that happen in our life. But we've got to try our best to snap ourselves out of it, and remind each other that Allah would never for a second give you something if it wasn't good for you.. 

May Allah keep strengthening our relationship and Because that ended, Allah reminded me that I do have a path to Jannah. Insyaalaah

Best Thing....

I was reminded the beauty of going back to basics; seeking forgiveness from God. Allah asks us to seek his forgiveness over and over and over again. And there's a beautiful reason behind it. 

Istighfar (seeking forgiveness) is something we should be doing like all the time. But me on the other hand, forgetful as always. I'll say my 'Astaghfirullahiladzim' a few times after solat and think I'm good to do for the day.

So back to what I was saying, the amazing thing about seeking forgiveness is that there's more to it then just that. Firstly, Allah actually loves to forgive since he is Al-Ghaffar, so it's on us to not sit on our bum bum and be slack about it. And secondly, Allah grants us more than just His forgiveness (as if that isn't enough already). This is where we see just how generous He is. When we make istighfar (seek forgiveness), we usually think it's just about getting forgiveness, but little did we know, receiving Allah's forgiveness comes along with so much much more. With no expectations, Allah gladly gives us more.

Allah says He will increase us in many worldly things such as granting us with more money, children and the best part, gardens and rivers in Jannah in the after life. Imagine if you did something sneaky behind your husband, wife or friends back, and then on Hari Raya day you ask her or his to forgive you. Okay, if he or she loves you he or she will forgive you, but he's or she's not going to forgive you and hand over a big packet of duit raya right? The best deal you'll get is his or her forgiving you. But with Allah, He gives us more.  Allah tells us that our life on this earth will become more beautiful and at ease if only you continuously ask for His forgiveness.

I needed this simple reminder so bad because sometimes making istighfar becomes a habitual thing that you forget its true meaning when you utter it or you don't do it enough, and with that you lose your opportunity at getting the sweet deal of gaining Allah's forgiveness and gifts in this life! I hope you guys aren't as forgetful as I am because the reward in turning back to Allah and seeking his forgiveness is just too good to pass.

How To Deal with Women If you are Man Enough...

A strong relationship starts with two Brave people who are ready to Sacrifice anything for One Another....

When she hits you or pushing you …....... (hold her hands)
When she get angry................................... ( just hug her )
When she be silent.................................... (ask her what is problem)
When she Ignore you................................. (Give her attention)
When she asked you about something... (don’t neglected her)
When she want to get away from you...... ( do not agree with her opinion)
When you see her in the worst situations (Tell her you are beautiful)
When you see her Cry................................( kiss her head and tell her i love you a lot)
When you feel her scared......................... (protect her )
When you see her jealous........................ (that’s mean she love you more than you imagine )
When she say to you i love you.................( that’s mean she have feelings to you more than you                                                                             think)
When she look into your eyes....................( don’t turned your eyes until she turned it first.)

They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them …

Qur’an [2 : 187]

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.

‘And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers – men and women – gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity.’ Qur’an [9 : 71 - 72]

Till End.....

 I'll always ask him how he fell in love with me and ask him,Do you Love me? . And every night, it will be a different story. I look forward to this part of the day. Some days we would fight, but on most days, things are on a routine...

All praises to God for sending someone who has made my life on this earth a meaningful one. May God bless his soul and reward him far better in this world and the hereafter.

Pray.....

I'm sure a lot of you already do solat with your husband or other family members, but if you don't, try to make it a regular thing you do because it really is nice to have that one thing to do together despite our busy schedules. Plus Allah will reward you more, so it really is awesome!

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Prayer in congregation is twenty seven times better than prayer prayed individually. (Sahîh al-Bukhârî:645 and Sahîh Muslim: 650) 

Someone told me to pray with my heart, and not with my mouth. Such simple words, but trying this made my solat a world of difference.

I am Letting You Go....

Close my Eyes.....Clear my Heart and Finally I Let It Go.....

I can't believe it, but the deeper I go into myself, the clearer I can see my soul. I've been chasing beauty and I am done doing that. I am letting beauty go. I have to understand that ONLY GOD is the sole reason I am alive.

After realising this, I told myself that I am letting beauty go and I am not going to chase for it anymore. OH MY GOSH, I felt it.... the sweet taste of freedom. I feel free. I know now that it is only through submitting to God that I am truly free... I am ready Allah... I am ready....

 It's time for me to let 'leadership' go... Just as I had to let go of beauty, I have to let go of 'leadership'. I want to be free from the shackles that I have built around myself.

Yes Allah, worshiping You is the only way to free my soul... You are the only thing worth pursuing. There is no more statute Gods that we worship, but there is a lot of the lowernafs (desires, lusts, ego etc) that have been pursued instead of You. 

It is clear now to me. Who I am depends on my relationship with God. I am a slave of God and that is truly freedom.... Freedom from my own insecurities that has kept me hostage/ prison for myself. 

Say Sorry...Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. 'I can forgive but I cannot forget', is only one way of saying, "I will not forgive." Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note, torn into two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. The weak can never forgive -- forgiveness is the attribute of the strong...

SubhanAllah it's so simple, yet so beautiful. I just sat in silence for a minute. I sat in silence because I was smacking myself inside for thinking how could I have forgotten this hadith because I knew I had read and heard it countless time.  Day in and day out I am so sure the sins I have accumulated is beyond imaginable. And here it is, our Lord, Al-Ghaffaar (The Ever Forgiving) has made it oh-so-easy for us to eliminate our sins. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “(There are) two words which are dear to the Beneficent (Allāh) and very light (easy) for the tongue (to say), but very heavy in weight in the balance. They are: 'Subhan Allāh wa-bi hamdihi' (All Glory is to Allah and all Praise to Him) and 'Subhan Allāh Al-'Azim (Glorified is Allah, the Great).” (Bukhāri)

All we have to do is remember him in our day. Remember that Allah has mad love for all of us as His mercy and forgiveness is close at hand. May Allah keep this hadith close to my heart and yours. :)

HALAL & HARAM...LAWFUL & PROHIBITED....

How to begin the story....arghhhh...B awak ada Boy friend yer..What is his name?....For Sure haruslah ada...Do you want to know? His name is Ahmad Al Auzai'y..You nak kenal ke.. but sometimes I've been  ask with this type of question.......Are you married....are you single....What is your name?... this what always happen too me....the best thing is by smiling and answered Yes I'm Married with 3 children....Proud of it....

So whilst I praise and thank Allah for giving me Islam which allows me to seriously take a good look at myself and start taking achievable and attainable steps to work for a better 'real' live in the eternity .

For me i know that Love to HALAL is Lawful, and Love that is prohibited by Allah is HARAM..Lawful love is love between husband and wife and it is HALAL meanwhile the prohibited LOVE is the one that forbidden...This kind of love will bring to the cause of the collapse and disintegration to the family.For a wife to Love another woman's Husband and a Husband Loves another man's wife it has been going on and even been recorded by Allah in the Qur'an Al Karim. (surah Yusuf verses 23-35).

I realise that real terror is that I might just be stuck in Hell fire eternally. Not just any fire. Fire itself is something that I cannot bear even for a split second on this earth. What more if it's a fire specially prepared by Allah for all eternity. Oh my Gosh and before I get to the Hell fire, there is the audit of my accounts. Audit of all the deeds that I've done. Ya Allah, I am really really really scarred now... Please please please do not audit me. If you audit just one of my bad deed, I am gone! I am finished!!! I am done... I am doomed.... 

I would rather recite beautiful and truthful passages from the Qur'an that tells us about Jannah instead.  I know it's going to be hard, but if we really try Allah will make us succeed. Allah wants us to come back to Him, Allah wants to give us better . He just needs to see the effort of us letting go of something for the sake of Allah. Let's give this fantasy up and really work for the real thing.

Ya Allah, please give us the strength to pass this test of yours. I really want me and him to be reunited in Jannah. I can so picture a more beautiful version of ourselves, in our huge and luscious garden full of flowers everywhere, as we continue to live blissfully with our families into our perfect piece of forever... Ameen...

Thankful...Thankful...Alhamdulillah....

I understand we human are curious creature. Gone were the days where people follow blindly. We question as any human would do. Even in Sirah, Ibrahim a.s. also question the creation of life, who,why & so forth. Ibrahim was given answer directly by Allah s.w.t. Hidayah- the greatest gift from Allah is only for His chosen one. We are grateful we are born in Islam unlike some of our brothers & sisters that have to go through series of challenges to their believe. 

Allah never need our praises or reassurance from us. In fact, He stated clearly in Quran surah Ibrahim ayah 8:

"Kalau kamu dan sesiapa sahaja di atas muka bumi ini seluruhnya ingkar, maka hal yang demikian itu tidaklah merugikan Allah, sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Kaya lagi Maha Terpuji.” Surah Ibrahim ayat 8.

The truth;we NEEDED HIM more than anything but we as 'hamba yg lemah'-often thinks too highly of ourselves. Often. *sigh..this is more note to self* When everything we are past,present & future are in His hands. It can come & go in a blink of an eye. Thus detachment of all dependents is the highest surrender to Allah. 

In surah Al-Alaq ayat 1-13-yes the first surah that our beloved Prophet received;

1. Bacalah dengan (menyebut) nama Rabbmu Yang menciptakan, (QS. 96:1)

2. Dia telah menciptakan manusia dengan segumpal darah. (QS. 96:2)

3. Bacalah, dan Rabbmulah Yang Paling Pemurah, (QS. 96:3)

4. Yang mengajar (manusia) dengan perantaraan kalam 1590. (QS. 96:4)

5. Dia mengajarkan kepada manusia apa yang tidak diketahuinya. (QS. 96:5)

6. Ketahuilah! Sesungguhnya manusia benar-benar melampaui batas, (QS. 96:6)

7. karena dia melihat dirinya serba cukup. (QS. 96:7)

8. Sesungguhnya hanya kepada Rabbmulah kembali(mu). (QS. 96:8)

9. Bagaimana pendapatmu tentang orang yang melarang, (QS. 96:9)

10. seorang hamba ketika dia mengerjakan shalat 1591, (QS. 96:10)

11. bagaimana pendapatmu jika orang yang melarang itu berada di atas kebenaran, (QS. 96:11)

12. atau dia menyuruh bertaqwa (kepada Allah) (QS. 96:12)

13. Bagaimana pendapatmu jika orang yang melarang itu mendustakan dan berpaling? (QS. 96:13)

14. Tidakkah dia mengetahui bahwa sesungguhnya Allah melihat segala perbuatannya? (QS. 96:14)

It never occurred to me that I got that pay raise because the Ar-Razzaq (the all Provider) decided to allow that to happen. It was because of his generosity (Al-Khareem) that I got more than what I deserved and therefore had the ability to give charity in the first place. It is due to Allah's mercy and guidance that allowed for all the positive changes. Not because I became a better person. It is because He is Ar-Raheem (The Exceedingly Merciful) and Al-Hadi (The one that Guides).  

It wasn't easy to accept that literally every thing that happened in my life was because Allah made it happen. It is by understanding Allah's names and characteristics that I can see clearly just how glorious He is. Allah doesn't need me to praise and glorify him by his utmost perfect names. I am the one that needs to remind myself that He is Al-Azim (The Magnificent), He is Malik Al-Mulk (The Owner of All), He is Al-Muhyi (The Giver of Life) and that He is Al-Malik(The King/Absolute Ruler). I need to remind myself that I am His slave and just another one of His creations. 

He knew. When He created us, He knew we will question, curious & thinks highly of ourselves when we feel enough. 

Groove it....

He love to dance......Groove it my Baby...Listen to the music and follow it every single beat of the Music....He listen to Hits.Fm and Mix Fm.....

Romantic Love Last.....

Be Grateful For Your Mistakes

"Instead, somehow thank the weasel you caught cheating, and be grateful to the jerk who hurt you so badly. it's the mongrels and the cheaters who make us realise when we have found "the one". so thank them with all your (broken) heart."

Believe In Soul Mates

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else 

goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise."

You Can't Just Love The Bit You Love

"Accepting - even adoring someone's faults is the truth about how to make love work. Real love is a decision to honour, respect and be loving towards someone in spite of the fact that they, at times, drive you absolutely crazy."

Loving A Whole Person, Even The Parts That Drive You Nuts

"When your significant other does something idiotic, don't just tolerate it, love them for it. As someone very wise once said, "Sometimes the secret is just to say those three little words, 'You're probably right.' "