Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Forgiveness Between Husband & Wife...

Forgiveness Between Husband And Wife.

 The foundation of a family is laid through marriage. The relationship between husband, wife should be strong and ever- lasting. Rasulullah (SAW) said: ”The best among you is he who treats the members of his family best.” In order to maintain harmony within the family, Islam looked down upon divorce and considered it as the most obnoxious in the sight of Allah. Let us really and truly try to avoid the anger, wrath and curse of Allah that comes with divorce, let us lower our pride and ask our spouse for forgiveness, making and working hard at our marriage, let’s us learn how to forgive and ask forgiveness.

Healing yourself and healing disruptions and challenges in relationships is vital to move forward as a couple effectively. Forgiveness allows a resumption of unity and to move forward as a couple. When grudges or resentment remain instead, the bond between the couple is strained and damaged. In relationships where forgiveness does not occur, for either small or large hurtful words and actions, the bond often begins to fail. Therefore we should understand and practice this concept more regularly and intentionally.Forgiveness is pardoning someone for saying or doing something hurtful or harmful, giving up a desire for revenge and letting go of anger and resentment.

Forgiveness effectively when he/she:

1) Examines what happened with discernment and compassion, tries to understand it and the person, accepts it as unchangeable, grieves sufficiently, and lets go of his/her feelings of anger, resentment, pain, or bitterness

2) Gives others and himself/herself the opportunity to restore a relationship after a hurtful experience, speaking and acting as needed to express remorse, apologize, change, make amends, resolve issues, reconcile, and start over anew

4) Seeks to understand the values, and viewpoints of others

5) Resists focusing excessively on the faults and mistakes of others and himself/herself, releasing grudges or hurts about words or actions

6) Values inner harmony and unity with others enough to let go of negative feelings about the past

7) Pardons a wrongdoer, including oneself, with sincerity and courage

Needs to strengthen Forgiveness when he/she:

1) Keeps replaying the incident in his/her mind and holds onto bitterness and anger

2) Seeks revenge

3) Refuses to accept an apology when someone else has made a mistake or to make amends when he/she is at fault

4) Holds grudges and resentment and raises a problem or former error repeatedly

5) Withholds acceptance and pardon until the other person specifically asks for it

6) Criticizes the words or actions of others or himself/herself repeatedly and often harshly

Misuses the strength of Forgiveness when he/she:

1) Accepts unjust, abusive, or harmful actions from someone without resolution

2) Avoids holding others or himself/herself accountable for words or actions

3) Behaves poorly without restraint because he/she presumes automatic forgiveness

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